2010 Awards
by Flappy
Summary: Not even a simple awards ceremony can go to plan... Awards Ceremony for a whole range of characters, with crazy audience members.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I don't pretend to own any of the characters/anything else in these stories. Except for Flappy, the rose haired girl and any of my other original characters. I believe that's about it...

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The night was young and the closed in awards stadium was almost full with more people still arriving. When at last everyone was comfortably seated a spotlight appeared onstage. The crowd fell silent in anticipation as a teenage brunette stepped into the light. Like quite a few people she was wearing her normal casual clothes. She fiddled with a microphone for a moment and then beckoned to some unseen people. A behind-the-scenes crewman dashed on stage handed her another microphone and headed off with the old one.

"Hello everyone!" she waved, "Welcome to the two thousand and ten awards. I'm your host Flappy!" About half the stadium clapped and cheered while the other half booed. The brunette merely smiled. "For all you booing I'd like to remind you that I am in fact a fan fiction author" she threatened while maintaining a happy voice.

"We know that!" one person yelled at her.

"Yeah! That's why we hate you!" another shouted.

"Ok, ok. I get the point, you don't like authorisations" Flappy said waving her hand up and down in an attempt to calm the crowd down.

"They're called self-inserts you idiot!" a third person in the crowd bellowed.

"Well whatever you call them you don't like them, I get the point" Flappy said. After quieting any more chatter in the crowd she finally continued. "Well today we have lots of awards to hand out to an entire host of um..." she stared at the crowd blankly, "everyone's favourite..." she broke off looking confused, "fictional characters" she finally said.

Immediately several people booed and others yelled at her but they quickly quietened down at the threat of being thrown out. "Anyway our first award for the night is... Author's Favourite!" Flappy cried.

A rose haired teenager around Flappy's age dashed on stage and handed her an envelope. She tore it open and unfolded the sheet of paper inside. However she proceeded to hand both back to the rose haired girl. "Not that I need the envelope anyway!" she smiled, "Our winner of course is the fabulous Yoshi!"

Yoshi jumped up onto the stage from his seat in the front row and accepted his award, a silver trophy depicting a quill, as the crowd cheered, clapped and whistled pleased for his achievement. Several people awed as Yoshi hugged Flappy thanking the fan fiction writer for the trophy and hopped back into his seat. Even after he sat down comfortably the crowd continued to cheer, clap and whistle. Then just as everyone quietened down one person cried, "Who'd want to win an award from that monster!?"

"That's it! Throw them out!" Flappy yelled angrily. Security people moved in on the offender and proceeded to shove, push and pull them out of the stadium. As they were being pushed up the isle the offender yelled various insults at Flappy. When they were finally outside everyone snapped their attention back to their host.

"Well, now that that's over let's move onto our next award. This one is for the most dramatic person! Our nominees are Light Yagami..." most people clapped but some shifted uncomfortably in their seats, "Eriol Hiiragizawa..." once again most people clapped but some silently pondered how he was nominated, "And finally Christine Vole, Helm whatever her last name is" everyone clapped.

The rose haired girl rushed onto the stage again and handed Flappy another envelope. The crowd held their breath as she opened it and silently read the letter inside. "An honourable mention to Mrs Christine Vole or Helm and her 'Damn you!' line but the award goes to Light Yagami!"

Light strolled to the stage looking quite smart in a suit as most people clapped. However some people shuddered and a few of the braver people booed. "I'll take a potato chip and... EAT IT!" Flappy cried as Light stepped onto the stage. Those few in the audience who got the joke laughed. Light shook Flappy's hand as he accepted his plain silver trophy. "Thank you, arigato" he thanked sincerely as he walked back to his seat.

"Isn't Light just so uber?" Flappy asked. The majority of the audience cheered in agreement while some booed and others remained silent. "Well I guess we all can't agree" Flappy sighed.

There was a pause as she the last few sounds of chatter died down. "Our next award is quite a crack one" Flappy ascertained slipping into fan fiction slang. She paused for a moment to allow everyone to ponder what it might be. "This award is for the male who most looks like a female" she announced as she smiled wanly.

Several people in the crowd looked horrified while others broke into roaring laughter. "Our nominees are the gym leader Roark..." everyone laughed while Roark folded his arms angrily, "Prince Marth..." everyone laughed as Marth blushed red, "Lucius..." he blushed even redder than Marth as everyone laughed, "and finally Yue" everyone laughed as Yue simply stared at his host unaffected.

"I didn't know Yue was a boy" Aang whispered to his friends.

"It isn't the Yue we know Aang. She didn't say princess. Besides she pronounced it differently!" Sokka declared.

Flappy tapped her foot anxiously on the stage as she waited for her rose haired assistant to run on stage and hand her the envelope. She gazed at the off-stage area for some time before turning back to the audience. "Well," she began with a shrug, "they've managed to lose the envelope for this award. Fortunately I know who wins it anyway. So without further ado can the fantastic Lucius please come up here and accept his award!"

Lucius thoroughly embarrassed walked to the stage as normally as he could while people clapped, cheered and whistled loudly. "Congrats" she murmured as she shook his hand. The rose haired girl dashed on stage carrying a plain silver trophy and shook his hand jubilantly. "Congratulations!" she cried and handed him his trophy.

"Thank you" Lucius said in his normal calm voice. He walked back to his seat and sat down glad that it was finally over. "Lucius" a voice beside the priest whispered.

"Y-yes Lord Raymond?" Lucius asked.

"You do realise I'm never going to let you forget this" Raven replied.

"Oh Lord Brother! Stop picking on poor Lucius!" Priscilla scolded.

There was a pause as Flappy talked to a behind-the-scenes crewman. She turned to the crowd with a disappointed look on her face. "Good news is they fixed the original microphone. Bad news is we no longer need it" she sighed.

There was deathly silence as the audience tried to comprehend exactly why she was telling them this. "I'm your host you idiots! I'm expected to say such things!" she cried in frustration. Suddenly it came back to the audience that this fan fiction writer was in fact their host and that there was in fact a problem with the microphone at the start.

"Well let's move on to the next award then. This award is for the best detective!" Flappy announced quickly in an attempt to save the ceremony.

"This is award is such a joke. Do they even have to hand it out?" someone muttered in the audience.

"Our nominees are Detective Sherlock Holmes..." everyone clapped, cheered and whistled as though he had already won the award, "L..." his fans went wild cheering him on, "And finally Detective Dick Gumshoe!" the crowd was completely silent.

The rose haired girl rushed on stage and handed Flappy the obligatory envelope. The fan fiction author smiled smugly as she unfolded it and read the letter as though she knew something nobody else did...


	2. Chapter 2

"Detective Dick Gumshoe!"

There was silence as the crowd tried to comprehend exactly what she had said. Detective Gumshoe looking scruffy as always in his dark green walked to the stage. He climbed up and looked down at the far shorter girl.

"Hey, pal. How come I won the award?" he asked feeling confused.

"The logic is elementary!" Flappy cried and shoved a silver award shaped like a magnifying glass into his hands. Failing to get his explanation but still quite please Gumshoe trotted back to his seat eager to show his friends. "Nice guy, isn't he?" Flappy asked. The audience clapped and cheered in agreement, congratulating Gumshoe for the first time that night.

"Well let's waste no time getting on to our next award!" Flappy declared.

"Wait!" someone in the audience shouted, "Don't we get some form of entertainment tonight?"

"You opted to come!" Flappy yelled back angrily. All these interruptions were starting to get on her nerves…

"Yeah! I'm sick of hearing your voice for a while!" another audience member cried.

"Just be quiet and let me get on with it, ok? The less you interrupt the quicker the ceremony goes, got it? Good. Now be quiet all of you!" Flappy explained simply.

The crowd fell silent and after Flappy actually remembered the next award everything went back to normal. "The next award for the evening is best magical girl. Our nominees are Usagi Tsukino or as she is known to some, Serena Tsukino" the crowd went wild, "Sakura Kinomoto…" there was some light clapping, "Ichigo Momomiya…" some more light clapping, "And finally collectively, Pretty Cure, Nagisa Misumi and Honoka Yukishiro" the crowd went wild again.

Before Flappy even finished the rose haired girl rushed on stage with the envelope. She handed it over and waited as Flappy once again opened the envelope. After a quick glance Flappy turned the piece of paper over hastily.

"There's nothing on here!" she cried completely audible even without the microphone.

"That can't be so!" the rose haired girl cried obviously distressed.

"Rose, you announce the winner of the award while I go and find out what's going on" Flappy ordered, "I shalln't be a minute!"

So Rose stood there on stage impressed by the newest important task Flappy had given to her. "The winner is the beautiful Usagi Tsukino! Congratulations, omedetoo gozaimasu!" Rose congratulated cheerfully.

Usagi looking absolutely stunning in a formal white gown walked to the stage as the audience clapped and cheered in celebration. She graciously accepted the plain silver trophy and fully dignified sat into her seat. However all illusions of formality and dignity was lost as she cried, "I won the award Mamo-chan! Isn't that great!"

"What's going on out here? I thought I heard yelling!" Flappy asked and poked her head around the curtain. She glanced around for something suspicious and noticed Usagi steadily growing red in the face. Shrugging this off she disappeared and the crowd roared into laughter. "Seriously what's so funny?" Flappy demanded and reappeared. What she saw this time was Usagi blushing as red as a tomato and piecing two and two together went off to do what she was before.

"W-wait Flappy-san! What's the next award!"

"One sec Rose, we just sorted out the envelope problem" Flappy announced and walked on stage proudly, "Right! I'll take over now!"

After surveying the audience again she commented sarcastically, "Bet you missed me," as Rose walked off-stage. The crowd quietened down as she prepared to speak. "Anyway our next award is another crack one. This award is for the stupidest character!" Flappy cried. The crowd cracked into laughter though it was noticeably quieter and more nervous than earlier on. This, the audience figured, was Flappy's revenge. Several people noticeably grew shorter while others completely disappeared.

"Our nominees are Duck Hunt Dog," everyone laughed because nobody liked the dog, "Rock Lee," Sakura Haruno went off her nut at Flappy while most people silently agreed, "and... That's actually all I've got..." Flappy admitted. Several people sighed from relief that she wouldn't immediately give them the disgrace of having the award.

Rose once again rushed onstage and gave Flappy the envelope but the fan fiction author refused it. "It would be hard for me not to know who wins this award. While Duck Hunt Dog is undeniably stupid, annoying and all that I threw him out of the stadium before we started so... Rock Lee wins!" Flappy explained.

Rock Lee walked to the stage as most people laughed and some more sympathetic people clapped or as is usual for the evening took their anger out on Flappy. Rock Lee smiling proudly – apparently he hadn't realised getting this award was a bad thing – blissfully clambered onto the stage to receive his award from Flappy who looked as unamused as ever. She shoved the plain silver award in Rock Lee's hand he proceeded to explode in joy.

"Look sensei! I have received the prestigious award!" Rock Lee cried joyously and bounced off to his seat.

"Crazy guy with a bowl cut..." Flappy murmured before smiling insincerely, "What a great guy!"

The audience however did not respond. "Well our next award is for worst villain because best villain was too ironic" Flappy declared. The crowd went wild with joy for they were certain this award would be by far one of the more fun ones.

"Our demonically evil nominees are... Sephiroth, the one winged angel..." tons of clapping, whistling and cheering erupted from the crowd, even some 'I love you Sephiroth' signs mysteriously appeared, "Albert Wesker..." displeased by the lack of comment he attempted to kill the person in front of him, Alex Mercer.


	3. Chapter 3

To say the fight was gentlemanly and most certainly not destructive would be both an extreme understatement and blatant lie. People screamed and shouted as they ran for their lives. The stoic ones merely walked away at a fast paced trying to keep a straight face while chairs were flung around them.

Needless to say this was the last straw for Flappy who, saving the microphone out of pity, ran out the back exit as fast as she could dragging Rose and a cameraman with her.

"I dare say that's the first awards ceremony that's ever ended in a stadium destroying fight," the cameraman said.

"Could you both be quiet about this? I'm already annoyed about how I can't keep to a damn schedule. I mean I had practically the whole year to write the damn story and it's nearing the end of February two-thousand and eleven," Flappy complained.

"Isn't it pronounced twenty-eleven?" Rose asked.

"And what do you mean about writing a story? Besides its still the same night the ceremony started, the fifth of the seventh in the year two thousand and ten," the cameraman pointed out.

"I could tell you the truth or I could just not bother to explain that. I choose the latter," Flappy declared.

"Well I grabbed the envelope for the award!" Rose exclaimed, waving an envelope in the air, "Let's see who won!"

Flappy grabbed the whit envelope, opened it and read the sheet of paper with an odd expression on her face. "And the award goes to the Narrator," she said.

"Who's that?" Rose asked.

"Beats me," Flappy replied and put it in her jacket for safe keeping.

"What do we do now?" the cameraman asked.

"I'm going to go and check who this 'Narrator' is," Flappy declared and begun walking off.

"Wait! We'll go to!" Rose cried, bringing the hapless cameraman with her. Personally the poor man had had enough of insanity for one night.

And thus we have reached the rather anti-climatic end to this story.


End file.
